Standing at the window
Between nothing and everything
This thin membrane
Protecting the nothing
Before everything
Explodes inside my head
An abrupt impulse
Fires linear intent
Diverted into outer space
Returning white hot
Altered
Indistinguishable
Am I outside?
Or inside
The outside?
Weeping
Without tears
I walk into the water
Breathing and suffocating
Completely
Peacefully
Desires call out
Call in.
Stay with me,
For more than a moment!
Holding the pen
With all my strength
I watch the ink
Disperse into vapor
Such is the life of an introvert who is hopelessly seeking a creative outlet. When one also realizes that there is some attention deficit raging behind the scenes, it can be a struggle to stay on task. My thoughts become sparklers and exploding fireworks. It can be difficult to keep up.
Introversion is not bad. It is simply a way some of us cope with the world and its demands. Unlike the extrovert that draws energy from others, the introvert finds the expenditure of social energy to be draining. It is not an applied “fault” mechanism. It is just the way the brain is wired.
The paradigm is more about being thoughtful to establish a sense of self, made by the self. Other thoughts are welcomed, but if they do not benefit, they are stored for review, but not implemented.
Yesterday, I started some music production/composition that is well beyond my capabilities. I do not read music, neither have I studied theory. Not that I do not want to….I just lack the attention span to grasp the concepts required for implementation. So, I wing it. Self taught/practiced.
I wish it were different. But, as we all learn, wishing rarely accomplishes anything without “the doing.”
So with all its trouble and angst I practice just “the doing.”
Anyone else out there deal with this?
Peace.
Photographic Impressionistic Illusionistic 