Work Space

Teleconference the specifics
Meet with the folks that make the checks
Review the schedule
If we do this,
We can erase the next eight months of our lives
Are you ready for that?

Of course.
Just let me re-crunch
The numbers…
Dollars with wings.

Hey,
I woke up this morning
Thinking about the thing.
You know
The thing
That will keep us up at night?

Good.
We’re on the same page.
I hope you can run fast.
This moving train isn’t going to wait for you.
It’ll either wear you out
Or cut you in half
But you can’t go ’til I say go.

Such is the life in construction. “Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it.” When my work day is over…I’ll just mosey on down to the rusty buckwheat fields. Watch the bees and really learn something.





The Return

Should have seen the signs
Red sky and hovering lake
Ravenous blackbirds flocked
Frenzied
Like the shark
That smells blood

Busy the mind
Chained hands to the task
Away
My only friend
Long was the journey

Absence is a liar
It’s testing
More resilient
Than any heart
Strength of character
Thrown away
Into empty wind

Promises
Even are more empty

Only time and effort
Will erase the disaster
Of neglect


Not sure why this ekphrastic brought me here.
When I was younger, being a journeyman meant exactly that. I had to journey away from my family for extended periods to work my trade. It took a toll on on them and it seemed at times I had completely failed them. Some of my other jobs took me away on the weekends playing music. So even though I was at home every night, I was not available. It was during this time that I realized that words and promises are meaningless.
Only the doing can make things right.
Some memories cannot be erased. They become part of the fabric of your family history. “What kind of memory am I building?”

Not Sure About Anything

Last night
While dreaming I could fly
A realization flooded over me
The one flying
May not have been me.

My eyes were overhead
Watching something fly
Over forests and rivers

Understanding
That if I am watching something
Fly below
Then I myself
Must be flying as well

So, yes…
That was me flying
But,
Where was I going?

Photograph by me. Multiple exposures on one frame, in-camera.

Difference is Subjective

Everything was new
When I was new
ANd i kNew it WAs nEw

Looking across the sky
Again. For the 22627th time
Something keeps telling me
“tHis iS oLD”

The old
See afresh
The value of a “day”
When everything
iS nEW

On the evening I made this multiple exposure photo. The birds circled…so I put them around the moon…the old old moon. Then, nested them gently between the breasts of the distant mountains. The ancient ancient mountains. It was a moment unlike any other I had ever come to love.

Just “The Doing”

Standing at the window
Between nothing and everything
This thin membrane
Protecting the nothing
Before everything
Explodes inside my head

An abrupt impulse
Fires linear intent
Diverted into outer space
Returning white hot
Altered
Indistinguishable

Am I outside?
Or inside
The outside?

Weeping
Without tears
I walk into the water
Breathing and suffocating
Completely
Peacefully

Desires call out
Call in.
Stay with me,
For more than a moment!
Holding the pen
With all my strength
I watch the ink
Disperse into vapor

Such is the life of an introvert who is hopelessly seeking a creative outlet. When one also realizes that there is some attention deficit raging behind the scenes, it can be a struggle to stay on task. My thoughts become sparklers and exploding fireworks. It can be difficult to keep up.
Introversion is not bad. It is simply a way some of us cope with the world and its demands. Unlike the extrovert that draws energy from others, the introvert finds the expenditure of social energy to be draining. It is not an applied “fault” mechanism. It is just the way the brain is wired.
The paradigm is more about being thoughtful to establish a sense of self, made by the self. Other thoughts are welcomed, but if they do not benefit, they are stored for review, but not implemented.
Yesterday, I started some music production/composition that is well beyond my capabilities. I do not read music, neither have I studied theory. Not that I do not want to….I just lack the attention span to grasp the concepts required for implementation. So, I wing it. Self taught/practiced.
I wish it were different. But, as we all learn, wishing rarely accomplishes anything without “the doing.”
So with all its trouble and angst I practice just “the doing.”
Anyone else out there deal with this?
Peace.